April 7, 2010

I want everyday My wife don't ?

Try to discover her reasons – and don't pin blame on her

I'm 30 and have been happily married for four years, but my wife doesn't like sex. I want it every day, but she wants it once or twice a month. This hasn't harmed our relationship so far because I love her very much. However, my libido is increasing every day. Having protective sex puts her off; condoms hurt her, she gets headaches with the pill and is reluctant to try other forms of contraception. We don't want children yet. I don't want to leave her, but I'm desperate. Is there any way in which using a condom won't hurt her?
Your problem is not condoms. There is an important reason why your wife is uncomfortable having sex and avoiding it. The two of you must begin to communicate about what exactly is the issue – so try to make her feel safe enough to share that with you. It might be a physiological problem, which requires consultation with a medical practitioner; perhaps medication is lowering her libido, or she has a hormone imbalance or some other medical condition.
There might be psychological issues (for example, depression can deplete a person's sex drive). She may be ambivalent about having children, or there may be other relationship issues (these could all be addressed with the help of a therapist). Make your inquiries gently and with empathy and view the problem as one you share, rather than something that is all her fault. And don't ignore the problem – it won't go away.

Original title: My wife doesn't like sex. I don't want to leave her but I'm getting desperate
Pamela Stephenson ConnollyPamela Stephenson Connolly is a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders. - Life and Style